Monday, July 30, 2012

    And now that death will grow my jasmine, I find it soothing I'm afraid  


There are so many things in my life that have recently withered up and died away. Best friends, dreams, lovers, beliefs...Each one of them is like a small death, a bidding farewell, and an admitting defeat. 

After three years of traveling and living overseas it seems old shoes and friends no longer fit anymore. I've met people, seen things, experienced incredible moments and been constantly challenged, thrown out of my comfort zone and forced to look injustice, racism, and social issues straight in the eyes. Young ignorant parts of me died to make room for smarter, vaster knowledge and a more realistic view of the world. A strong belief system isn't one you hold onto for dear life when the rest of your experiences and facts point towards another direction. Your beliefs evolve like living breathing beings, they grow with you...or they die...and who wants to be left holding onto a dead, smelly thing for dear life? But it seems to me that that is exactly what so many people are doing. They are choosing belief over reason. Shouldn't they be one in the same?

There is no life without death. Snakes crawl out of their old skin to reveal their new glossy scales underneath at least 4 times a year. Scientists estimate that the human body looses over a million skin cells in a 24-hour period. 
Death = regrowth. And what happens on the outside should be matched by the state within. So this is my death, the death of all the old inadequate ideas, incorrect beliefs, the shedding of baggage and things that no longer fit so that growth can happen unhampered.

This image was also taken for the people who over the past few months acted as my judge, juror and executor. Thank you. Revealing your true self did me a huge favor. It forced me to realize that love cannot heal all, that a persons true nature glares back at you through their selfish deeds and that religion is used as a petty beast to hurt, maim, and mistreat the people who are different from you in the name of "God." And I realized that giving up on a friendship with people like this is a death that will grow my jasmine, and in that garden I will continue to dance.

3 comments:

Aaron said...

Nice photo! Where did you shoot this? And where did you find all those skulls????

Mandy McConaha said...

Thanks! This was shot in my parents backyard in New Mexico. My dad loves to collect skulls and bones...lucky for me, hey? ;)

Cathi said...

Absolutely stunning blog and very, very interesting snip bits of your life. I am awaiting the update on the pros and cons of non profit organisations with wiggly toes.

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