Why in tarnations has this book never been written?! I know, I know, all females are suppose to emerge into the world, born with an innate sense of knowledge of all things womanly: cooking, cleaning, fashion, popping out babbies, makeup, picking out good husbands, wearing high heels, and all those gazillion beauty products. But it's just not so! In fact, I feel like I've been playing catch up most of my life when it comes to being a woman. We're suppose to do WHAT?! Put what WHERE? Who the freak makes all these  rules anyways! And so I've decided to start a bit of a themed self portrait series on the comedy of womanhood. It is a comedy...at least when I do it. ;) 

And for all you peeps just tuning into my crazy bloggin' world, my bestest bud in all the world, Inge Kathleen and I, began a self portrait challenge about a month ago. So far we've pasted ourselves with newspaper, live snails, and flowers, tried a power tool makeover, fallen asleep in a Korean field, levitated, and hopped up and down on broken washer machines all for the sake of a good photo. All in the span of one month! You can only imagine what else our wee warped minds will come up with next! ;)   

The feeling of the wind rushing through your hair. Perch on the back of a motorbike. Speeding through the jungle. Leaning back to stare at the trees and sky. Arms out stretched like a kite.

Best feeling in the world. Even when it rains.

(Best done when someone else is driving the bike! And if you're a camera crazy girl like me, put him through a little training first or he might have a heart attack the first time he sees you leaning off the motorbike, swinging your camera wildly with a goofy, possessed smile on your face ;)

The Stratton ABC Foundation, one of our fantastic partnering organizations here at CCT, provides a home and education for 14 hill tribes children whose parents cant. Our ARI volunteers designed and built a playground and jungle mural for the children.

Tools of Beauty

Self portrait challenge numbero quatro!

When you walk into the bathroom and open your makeup case, do you ever feel like you might as well have just packed a chainsaw and a high powered grinder?! Some days are just like that, but lordy, the things we do in the name of beauty! We tear ourselves apart stitch by stitch, and build ourselves back up with fake lashes and painted lips and fake tans. And really all that muck just covers up the deep seeded insecurity and over critical-ness that no amount of perfection will appease.
When did we stop believing that its what's inside that counts and all that healthy mumbo-jumbo about natural beauty?! When did we buy into all that crap that the only valuable thing about a woman is her looks?!

I lived in South Korea for nearly two years and it was like a step back in time. Women were only as valuable as the amount of makeup they could slather on or the tightest dress they could shimmy into. Women were committing plastic surgery on themselves every time they looked into the mirror. And do you know that's not the scariest part?! The scariest part is that plastic surgery really IS that easy in Sk! Teenagers receive it as a graduation present from their parents, young girls believe it will solve all their life problems. You don't like your beautiful almond, Asian eyes? Cut them open. You hate your beautiful high cheekbones? Shave those babies down to have the skinny Western look. Beauty is a measurable formula, an equation that Korean plastic surgeons have supposedly perfected. It's measurable in the height of your nose, size of your eyes, and skinniness of your body. Got a muscle from, oh say, walking?! Shave it down!

The world becomes a scary place when a woman is just a customizable barbie doll in heels and men hold her strings like a puppet master. A scary scary place.

The self portrait challenge is going full steam ahead, but if you want to see someone who is really stepping up to the plate and taking it to a whole new level, check out Inge Kathleen's work this week! The woman's got mad portrait takin' skillz!

When I was a wee kid my dad made the tragic mistake of telling me that women belonged in the kitchen and from that day on I made it my burden duty to NEVER be caught in the vicinity. He also told me that girls couldn't play basketball or baseball and I spent my teenage years beating up every boy I could find on the court and field. I'm not entirely sure if this strengthened or stunted my development, but it definitely revealed a very integral aspect of my personality that can be summarized in one word: stubborn. 

I adore good food and can be bribed to do almost anything for a delicious supper...hike mountains, run half marathons, wash dishes...etc. Thanks to my two incredible foodie friends, Inge Hooker and Gail Harris, I've developed a desire to be able to whip up good food in the vicinity of my own kitchen. Last weekend I tackled a Thai cooking class. Thai food is one of my all time favorite cuisines, but in addition to its incredible-ness, I also have this grand idea that someday when I find myself back in the states, I will throw a huge party for all of my friends and cook dishes from all over the world and from places that I've lived. You don't know what a scary thought this is for someone who spent the majority of her life avoiding anything culinary, but being able to bring back the taste of places I've been and lived has lit the fire of determination! (See? Stubbornness can be a good thing! You just gotta figure out how to out think your own silliness! Now to work on the "barefooted and pregnant one...;)

Introducing my weekly "Favorite Things" Friday blog updates! Every week I'll post random photies of people, places or things or just crazy stories and random events that make life so rich and fantastic! 

As if having a million cutesy coffee shops around every corner wasn't enough, these beautiful little contraptions are also zooming around Chiang Mai, Thailand serving you espresso on the go! Literally! You don't even have to stop walking! ;) They've single handedly found a way to make my college day dreams come true: caffeine IV drip without the IV! I've made fast friend's with my little espresso truck men and next to the wee fruit stand ladies, they JUST might rank one of my favorite things...ever.

Welcoming...

The two newest, hairy and slightly slobbery members to the CCT family!
Introducing:

What a wild holiday week! Monday night, I joined the Chiang Mai hordes making a 6hr night pilgrimage up to the mountain top temple to wish Sir Buddha a happy birthday, enlightenment and death. Every person, children, granny, dog, cat, motorbike, tuktuk and red truck in the city of Chiang Mai could be found in a very intricate human traffic jam on one tiny road winding up the mountainside. I'm pretty sure that the city down there looked like a deserted ghost town, not a car or creature on the usually busy streets. 

It was a fantastic feeling letting my legs stretch out in a fast walk and feeling the blood and muscles pump again, reminding me of my EBC trek. If you go fast enough, people blur by and I swear it feels like there is wind beneath your feet!

At the top was an elaborate layout of food vendors, foot massage stations, and people crouched down in groups to spend the special night beneath the stars at the foot of Buddha. In some ways, the atmosphere felt a bit like Christmas and yet, in place of materialism and self indulgence, the entire population went out for a 6hr hike up a mountain. hmm...wonder which tradition is healthier for you. 

After filling my screaming tummy full of steaming cups of what taste like sweet corn porridge, pieces of cold pineapple, and spicy papaya salad, I settled in for a long, delicious foot massage to rub the knots from my tootsies. This may be a surprise considering my love of massage, but I've never had just a foot and leg massage, and now I wonder why?! With a full tummy and happy feet, I set off for the long walk down and made it home just as the 5am morning rains began to pour. Happy soggy Buddha Day everyone! ;)

Self Portrait 03

NO SNAILS WERE INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PHOTO

(except for that one that fell in the pond, clumsy little guy...)

So I've added a few new jungle moves to my life these days...My new workout regime goes something like this: 50 sit-ups *squash creepy crawly* 15 push-ups *squash idibiddy tick* 25 lunges *squash HUGE tick and shoo out misguided tree frog* I find I am now lost in between sets if there aren't moments of insect genocide. I've a very happy tree frog in the kitchen who greets me with a croak when I stumble, in half awake to cook breakfast in the mornings. And I've still not become entirely comfortable with the geckos who scurry across my walls fleeing from me and munching bugs all in one go. But instead of fighting nature, I've decided to embrace it! Tap into the inner animal. Become one with...snails. You wouldn't believe how moody those little guys can be. One moment they're tightly holding on to your arm and the next they're committing kamikaze suicide off your shoulder...tsk. I wonder if they've got anti-depressants for the poor wee fellows. Snail blues have to be the bleakest!

This is one in a series of self portraits that Inge Kathleen and I began at the beginning of May. The goal is not so much to torture ourselves, although judging from this image and those to come you might disagree, but to fine tune our portrait taking skills so that when we find a model willing to, say, levitate in the air, pose on top of rusty ol' washers, or cover herself in slimy snails...well we'll be ready! It's a lot tougher than it looks, trust me. In fact, anyone want to join in the self portrait fun?! The more the merrier. ;)

Today, I escaped the office for an afternoon and hopped into the volunteer van on its way to our partnering organization: Hope Home. Hope Home is refuge for Thai children with disabilities. Social taboos and and an overall lack of knowledge about disabilities here in Thailand, has added to the misunderstanding and mistreatment of these wonderful children.
It's only my second workshop with them, using art to help with their motor skills and to give them a chance to be creative little kids. As we walk into the room their excitement is palpable. Smiles spread across faces, legs begin to shake in excitement and anticipation. My little partner's name is Pancake. She's my little pigtailed explorer. She is partially blind, but explores the world through sound and has the most rebelliously adventurous spirit I've ever known. Some days she gets a wee bit sour and refuses any help at all, even if it means running into tables and chairs, she'll do the opposite of what you ask. She wants so terribly bad to be her own person and to do her own thing and anything less will make her scream bloody murder. But today I can tell that she is having a good day the moment I hop out of the van. Her little face is like a beam of sunshine and she wears a devilish smile. She seems to remember me and wanders my way so I can scoop her up and we weave across the floor dancing to the music and singing silly songs to ourselves. Today she even joined in with her own rendition of the 123s, which completely stole my heart. Phil has mad skills painting with his feet. In the beginning of the workshop, he is like a mad artist attacking the canvas. All flailing limbs and happy concentration etched on his face and in his big brown eyes. Tiny Joy watches the world, inspecting everything and everyone. At the end of the workshop we always have a race; each one of us manning a wheel chair and someone else standing at the end of the lane to mark the finish line. Smiles break over faces and the excitement builds. "Ready, set, go!" Squealing tires (compliments of my sound making abilities) and the patter of bare feet on stone. Joy and I win our second race and I raise her hands in celebration and she gives me my first smile!
Not every day goes smoothly, and not everyone is in a stellar mood, but the outcome, whether it be winning a wheeled race, painting a beautiful picture, or summonsing a tiny smile, is always rewarding enough!

Hope Home

Today our fantastic volunteer Nicola, created a print making ARI workshop for our partnering organization, Hope Home. Hope Home is refuge for Thai children with disabilities. Social taboos and and an overall lack of knowledge about disabilities here in Thailand have added to the misunderstanding and mistreatment of these wonderful children. Here is a wee preview of a more extensive post to come! Enjoy!

Fear [fir] noun. 1. A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. 

If there is one thing that prevents us (me) from living life to the fullest, it would be fear.  Seeing how this is the theme for my Self Portrait 02, I should probably talk a bit about the long term relationship I've cultivated with the nasty little creature called Fear. 

  So Fear and I have been tight, like best buds tight. Somewhere along the way you tell yourself that Fear is really trying to help you, not harm you, and you sorta embrace the stinky feller. Or maybe there never was an obvious choice at all, it just felt like you were sorta born this way.  Well that was kinda me t-minus 20 years ago...or actually not so long ago.  It may be hard to believe now (ha), but I've been afraid most of my life. Feeling helpless, insecure, afraid of what people were thinking or saying, and just plain scart of my own shadow. My poor mamma can testify  that I was the most ridiculously freaked out child; scared to put my head under water (even in the tub), scared to walk across a log that straddled our creek (or just a fallen tree), scared to climb trees, or walk on barrels, or shoot a gun...and my all time personal favorite: scared of puking in the toilet (don't ask me why, but that toilet was the menace of my childhood!). So yes, me and fear were tight. Maybe because my relationship with fear started at such an early age, I also learned a bloodthirsty habit of whipping it at its own game. It's not that I've conquered it or become scary enough that fear doesn't scare me (although some might beg to differ), nope, I deal with fear every single day. It's more that once you learn about its nasty habits, you also learn the best ways to wrestle with it n' win. Some days, which are now more like hours, minutes, or seconds (if I'm really on my game) I am the curled up creatures you see above. Afraid of failure, of decisions, of trying new things, or making new mistakes. But anymore, it doesn't last long and this is where I thank baby Jesus I was born with the most ridiculously rebellious and competitive spirit (competitive within reason I might add). It's almost like a game these days: grab a stop watch and think of something that tweaks you out, then turn that stop watch on and you see how long it takes you to conquer that desire to run and hide. Because when you do it that way it becomes a war between you and the stopwatch not some obscure voice inside your head telling you that you're not good enough or you're not smart or fast enough. And really, who can handle being defeated by a bloody old stopwatch?! Not I.

So to all those tough decisions, to taking a leap of faith, or getting on a plane to an unknown country…alone. To insecurity and looking dumb and trying new things and to falling flat on your face; I say bring it on! Each one is just another chance to grow a little bit more, to become a little bit stronger, and to fear a little bit less!

Check out Inge Kathleen's self portrait awesomeness!

This big old house is starting to settle in around me and the jungle noises that emanate from the overgrown pond area and backyard, are starting to sound more like greetings rather than threats, as I walk home through the gate at night. Some of my favorite things in the whole world can be found here...loads and loads of delicious fruit, cozy little cafes to hide from the rainy season and sip a hot cup of coffee, fresh food markets whose loud bartering noises and jumble of people and fruits and veggies always bring a smile to my face and make me feel terribly lucky to be livign and breathing and experiencing all this. Burmese refugee children come play on my front porch in the evenings and we sneak around with my camera, surprising volunteers with our stealthy picture taking abilities. These kids adore using my camera, anyone keen on doing a photography workshop with Burmese refugee children sorta patterned after Listen to my Pictures? This is a photo workshop I've been dying to do for years!!

Self Portrait challenge

Why yes, that is me, getting all down n' dirty with some smelly laundry and two broken down ol' washing machines that just happen to have been in my backyard. My bestest friend and partner in crime Inge Hooker, who's lovely face I've not seen now for two full weeks, *sniff* issued a weekly self portrait challenge that would broach the distance between Korea-land and Thailand and give our photo skills a run for their money! And when I say a run I mean a painful long distance run that causes you to start wheelin' and dealin' with the power that be. So Sunday morning I grabbed my camera, a stool, and an old flip flop and headed out to the over grown backyard. Call me crazy, but there is nothing like weeds up to my eyeballs and piles of discarded treasure (aka junk) to make me feel right at home (I blame this on growing up in Indiana). So picture this; I've got the camera popped up with a wedged musty flip flop, on top of a stool, on top of an old rotten table...and there I am hopping like a deranged bunny rabbit onto two dirty ol' washing machines, striking a dramatic pose, checking the back of the camera, shaking my head while muttering curses/instructions to myself, hopping back up to try again...and repeating the whole silly sequence over and over again. Not a special moment you want to share with a stranger...or a whole group of strangers...or even better, a whole group of MONKS. In the middle of one of my dramatic poses covered it dirt and sweat and thinking there was DEFINITELY a reason I am behind the camera and not in front, I looked to the heavens for a little guidance and found...a VERY entertained group of monks on the second floor of the building next door. I think as far as new neighbor introductions go, this one takes the cake. And this is only the beginning! Keep tuned every Tuesday (ish) for more strange tales and self portrait adventures!