Crossed Cultural Wires: Conversations in taxi with boys

There's always unique aspects to living in a foreign country; different customs and traditions to deal with, and tons of new ways to trip up that you never even knew existed. You end up blaming a lot of things on cultural and language barriers, probably more than they deserve, but there are just some things that make no sense no matter how hard you try...For nearly two years I've tried and tried to chock it up to cultural differences and social gobligook and crossed cultural wires...but seriously? Some Korean men can be down right spooky!

(5sec after meeting & 1 sec after he mustered up enough courage to talk to me (I'm scary what can I say;))
Korean: Where are you from? How old are you? You have boyfriend? no? nice! *Me starting to get twitchy* Where you live? *Me trying to be vague* That building there, right there? Right there? What's your apartment number? *Me starting to looking for escape routes and things to throw* You sleep alone? No, namja (boy)? Just you, sleep? (he mimes sleeping with his hands against his cheek) *Me trying to remember Korean number for 911* (Korean brain: hmm…so she lives in building 4, apt 3, alone, no boyfriend, and gets home at…*checks watch*)

Me: Wait, uh, I forgot, I'm married, no boyfriend, just married. How many? Oh maany maany husbands, (Korean shakes head in disbelief, tsk tsk you foreign women..) boyfriends are a pain in the butt, you gotta be nice to them n' feed them, but husbands? no problem! Children? Um, yes, like 6, (Korean gasps, gives me the beady eye) *I shrug* much much love, it happens. Yup, these are some well used organs, all stretched out. (Korean now very confused) I mean once you've had one baby the rest just start falling out! Gotta get a cork and cork that sucker up! (Korean looking very worried now, changes subject) Yes, I live there. No, no boy, but dogs! Maany maany dogs! Big ugly beasties who eat Koreans for breakfast. Yep, I tried to stop them, but once they got a taste of Korean blood they were hooked! Addicted. No doggie biscuits for them, nope, but when a little Korean man comes knocking on the door, it's like, "snack time boys!"

I swear I'm not a compulsive liar, it's just when I get asked a certain number of personal questions in a certain sequence all alone in a strange country, the alarm bell go off and self preservation techniques I didn't even KNOW I had start rearing their heads. Maybe Koreans are culturally wired to ask ubber personal questions on the first meeting that look super suspicious, but in my defense I am wired to make up all sorts of crazy, unbelievable lies when strange men start asking me unnecessarily personal questions especially when I'm riding in a taxi all by myself in the middle of the night in the middle of rice paddy country. I wonder if this is how all those strange misconceptions about Western women got started! ;)

I once read this great article (but for the life of me can't remember where) about a guy who felt like time was flying by him and he wanted to slow it down. He proposed two techniques to do just that; the first was to do as little as possible, because when you do nothing at all, you become bored out of your gourd and time feels gruelingly slow. Tick tock tick tock. However, what he found was that instead of making it feel slower, time actually sped up because there were no significant memories or experiences to help anchor it down in his mind. It was just one big blank. So he tried his second technique. This time, he decided to step outside his comfort zone, continually putting himself in strange, uncharacteristic situations that would test both his concept of safety and challenge his fears. By doing this, he found himself in so many memorable moments and incredible experiences that he actually felt like he had experienced every moment, which made his concept of time slow and made his life more fulfilling. (Hope I didn't massacre the story too horribly bad!;)

And so this is my new challenge for you and for me! (Those of you who know me best know how much I adore challenges, but it's not about who wins or loses, but the journey along the way). My goal is to cram-pack life so full of crazy, brilliantly exhilarating, moments, and experiences that time feels like a puddle of cold molasses!
It's time to break out those list people! Tally up those fears, pay attention to those moments where that nasty little voice in your head whispers: "can't, can't, can't!" Those moments you find yourself ducking behind inanimate objects or coming up with all sorts of lame excuses, and instead of letting fear walk all over you with its big, nasty, fungi filled feet (because fear grows like fungi ;), it's time to grab these moments, jump on that dance floor, wear that silly hat, climb that huge mountain, and say: "I can, can, can!" (or "up yours fungus feet!";)
And so here is my list of fears to conquer in 2011 (in no particular order):
Public bathing,
Traveling solo
Real dancing
Serious swimming
(I'm not even adding explanations or excuses for why, because….there are no excuses anymore)
And so 2011, I would like to kick you off with…duh duh dumb…an Ajuma Scub!!
In addition, I am initiating wiggling Salsa dancing Wednesdays in Seoul AND Hopkido Tuesday/Thursdays (just in case someone tries to put all kinds of hurt on me ;).

(For all those wondering about this home grown Korea tradition: an ajuma scrub is the process in which you get stark naked (in a Jimjilbang or sauna aka public bath), lie on a plastic table with two older Korean ladies (ajumas) dressed in black bras and panties, who scrub you within an inch of your life…and I do mean everywhere. Their motto should be "no place left untouched", while mine should read, "scared out of my skin"…literally).

Also, I will be moving to Thailand in March! Can we say hello beautiful beaches, sand between my toes, daily Thai massages and meditation, and the best food in SE Asia?! What more can a girl ask for?! I have one month left with all my beautiful peeps here in Korea, so let's live it up ya'll!

P.s.
Visitors welcome in my tropical Thai paradise! ;)

You walk into the shop through a quaint wooden door and inhale the scents of roasting beans and brewing coffee, all the way to your very toes. At that moment, everything in the world seems right, radiating outwards from the epicenter of that cozy, sweet smelling coffee shop. It's like a balm to your soul, and you unravel all your cares one sip at a time.
Our first weekend back in frozen Asialand, Inge kidnapped me on a post birthday excursion, and led me up a snow covered trail to a little coffee shop where magic happens. There we sat for hours, cuddling our mugs of deliciousness, and yarning about life, family, travels, personal growth, and the evolution of Minge. It's been an incredible experience to grow side by side my best friend, and to see the world from where we stand now; the future full of fathomless potential. And both of us ready to meet our individual futures with arms wide open!
Onwards and upwards, I say! Onwards and upwards! ;)